


When I Was Your Man

by littlesnowpea



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ghost Hunter AU, I am so sorry, M/M, Protective!Spock, Supernatural Elements, Surly!Bones, What Have I Done, angsty!Jim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 02:36:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesnowpea/pseuds/littlesnowpea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts out with three short scratches. Leonard pretends like he isn’t worried. </p><p>Or the one where there suddenly appears to be a target on Jim’s back and Leonard is forced to reconsider their ‘friends with benefits’ role with each successive investigation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I Was Your Man

**Author's Note:**

> I watched ONE episode of "Ghost Hunters: International" and then I was writing this. I don't even know. 
> 
> I originally wrote this for hockey RPF but then decided the characters fit better with Star Trek. God help me.
> 
> No but seriously, I have no idea what brought this on.

It starts out with three short scratches. 

Jim lets out some colorful swearwords as he grabs his neck and spins around.

“What is it?” Leonard asks, sounding like he could frankly care less. Not quite true, but Jim doesn’t need to know that, not really. Not after the fight they’d had last night that ended in heated glares and conversation that only happened when strictly necessary.

Jim ignores him, instead turning to Spock, who’d come clattering down the stairs at Jim’s shout. Whatever. It’s not as if Leonard doesn’t know about Spock’s protective streak a mile wide. 

“Something scratched me,” he appeals to the other man, who throws Leonard an entirely unneeded nasty look as he walks to Jim’s side. He pushes the blond’s fingers away from where they were clutching protectively and, even in the darkness, Leonard could see his face go pale. 

“What were you doing?” he demands in what Uhura had termed his ‘mom voice’. He glares over at Leonard again, as if he expects an answer out of him.

“Just an EVP session,” Jim whines. “I just asked if there was _something he wanted to tell us._ ”

He looks meaningfully over at Leonard, who barely succeeds at not rolling his eyes. 

Spock surprises them all by addressing the spirit in anger- something he has always refused to do out of fear of retaliation.

“That is not an answer, do you understand?” he hisses. Leonard can hear the others coming down to investigate for themselves and grits his teeth. “You do _not_ touch him.”

There is a moment of eerie silence, where even the air appears lifeless. The rest of the team have just gotten to the bottom of the stairs when a sudden rush of air causes them all to look around sharply.

The silence is split with another shout from Jim, this one much more distressed than angry. Spock is immediately there, and Leonard is too, though he gave his body no permission to move. He shines the light on Jim’s neck (two weeks ago, there were lovely dark bruises all over, ones that Jim had begged for more of, ones that Leonard gave him with his teeth and tongue and now he probably won’t get that anymore) and Spock coaxes Jim’s shaking hand away.

Leonard’s heart drops into his stomach faster than a haywire elevator and he is overcome with the urge to drag Jim bodily out of this place, to make sure no more harm comes to him. He reflexively clenches his hands into fists by his sides to prevent any rash actions on his part, but his eyes don’t leave the sight of Jim’s neck, blood running down into his shirt from the scratch (more of a gash) that was left there.

No one speaks for a long time. Spock presses a tissue gingerly against Jim’s neck, holding his hands away when he makes a move to stop him. At that, Leonard huffs a small breath of laughter to himself- Jim really couldn’t stand other people touching his injuries, he hates the feeling of vulnerability that comes with it. Leonard is glad Spock will be having none of it.

Chris wordlessly meets Leonard’s eyes, and Leonard immediately feels transparent, like the older man can see right through him, to his core. Not a new feeling, but definitely still uncomfortable. 

“I think,” Chris says finally, casting a glance around to the team. “We’ve finished this job, haven’t we?”

Jim makes a soft noise of assent and Leonard feels his heart twist once again. Silently cursing himself, he brushes quickly past Jim and Spock and begins packing up the equipment alongside Uhura.

 

\--

It would have been fine if it had ended there. Leonard would have been able to put it out of his mind and life would have gone on. 

It doesn’t end there.

Leonard notices Jim’s expression grow more and more clouded as they follow their client through the location. Though he tries hard not to watch Jim at all, he can’t help but see his hand dart up to rub at his neck, where Leonard remembers puffy red skin had been. 

Leonard knows that this means Jim is very uncomfortable here, and he knows just as well that Jim won’t do shit about it. He is far too self conscious to bring attention to his own discomfort, even when he has the best reason to. 

Leonard cannot ignore this. He wants to reach inside and rip out the part of him that still burns with the need to be near Jim- though they haven’t really spoken in months- but he cannot ignore this. He can’t.

So, he hangs back as the team gets set up and catches Spock’s elbow to stop him from shoving past. Spock opens his mouth furiously, but Leonard overrides him.

“Jim is frightened,” he informs Spock tersely. “He doesn’t like this place. Please don’t leave him alone.”

Spock regards him with his cool stare before nodding.

“I would never,” he snaps back. “And, for the record, you could just tell him yourself.”

He marches off before Leonard can formulate a reply, and he stares blankly after him, mind churning.

\-- 

 

It all goes to hell a few hours in. It’s nearly midnight, and Chris, Leonard, and Uhura are in the room in the back where the most complaints arise from. One moment, Leonard is staring into an infrared camera while Chris and Uhura attempt to elicit answers, and the next, a radio is crackling to life with a desperate shout.

“Chris?? Chris!!” Jim sounds like he is in hysterics, out of his mind with fear. “Chris, please, come quickly!”

They are moving before he is finished speaking, and Leonard doesn’t think he’s ever crossed this amount of distance in five seconds flat. 

Leonard automatically searches for Jim when they throw open the door to the basement, and when his eyes land on the blond, every pint of blood in him freezes cold. 

Chris is already there, calculating the damage he sees, but Leonard cannot make himself move an inch. He is riveted in place, unable to look away from Jim. _Jim, Jim, every bit of him aches for how much he misses Jim_.

His shirt is up and his entire right side is a mess, a wreck of bruises and scratches and the faint imprint of a hand. He is surreptitiously leaning against the wall, valiantly not whining in pain as Chris places a hand on one particularly colorful bruise. 

Leonard bites back a white-hot rush of rage at the look of pain on Jim’s face and forces him self to take a deep breath before speaking.

“We’re not staying,” he says simply. Everyone looks up suddenly at him, everyone but Jim, who is stubbornly gazing only at the ground. Leonard never moves his eyes from Jim’s face as he repeats himself.

“We are not staying here.” 

\--

 

Chris assures them all that it’s over, it’s done, he will deal with the client himself. He sends the team to the hotel, grabbing Leonard to stay behind and help with the packing up.  
   
He says nothing, just regards Leonard with his cool stare, and, as Leonard shoves the last box in the van he pauses, turning to look at Chris.

“I know, alright?” he says, hating how his voice has slipped dangerously close to a whine. “I know.”

Chris says nothing, but Leonard knows he understands. 

\--

Spock is sitting on the bed, pressing ice to Jim’s side as he sleeps beside Spock. Jim’s hand is wound in Spock’s t-shirt and Leonard aches with knowing that he had left Jim afraid, that he had fucked this all up. He glances at him as he walks in, all frigid and mistrust, none of the warmth he gives to Jim. 

“He fell asleep almost as soon as he’d finished crying,” he says, voice hard, words designed to cut to the bone. “He kept begging me not to go, not to leave him alone.”

“I understand,” Leonard snaps back, but his voice holds no malice, no fire. He knows he sounds defeated and heartbroken, and Spock’s mask slips a bit. He looks down at Jim again, smoothing his damp hair out of his eyes, and untangles his hand, tucking it beneath Jim’s body before easing himself up off the bed. 

He surveys Leonard critically before slapping him across the face. Leonard makes no move to stop him, and he does it again. 

“He cries for you every damn night,” Spock hisses. “I hold him and he can only cry because he thinks he’s not good enough.”

“He’s wrong,” Leonard whispers, the words coming forward unbidden.

Spock’s eyes are fiery.

“He’s got it backwards,” he grits out. “It’s not him that isn’t good enough, it’s you. You aren’t good enough for him, you don’t deserve someone like him. You don’t deserve a second chance, you don’t deserve anything.”

Leonard can’t say anything. There isn’t anything to argue. He knows all this, he’s known it for a while. Spock’s words are only logical. 

The third slap was really not a surprise, and Leonard does not look up from the floor.

“I think you’re a piece of shit, and it’ll take a miracle to change my mind,” he informs him, pressing the ice pack into his hands. “I recommend you try now.”

With that, he leaves, the door closing quietly behind him. Leonard feels like he is a dead weight of guilt, a piece of shit, as Spock so eloquently stated. He shifts the ice pack from one hand to the other before taking a first halting step forward, a first trickle in a dam about to burst. 

He finds himself in the space Spock vacated, shoes and sweatshirt abandoned on the floor. Jim is pressed against him, his warmth something Leonard remembers well. His hair is damp from the shower he must’ve taken, and his breathing is heavy; though his sleep is far from untroubled. Leonard knows those small hiccups, understands exactly what is causing them, and a fresh surge of self-hatred wells inside him. 

Leonard lays down beside him. His entire being aches with the need to pull Jim close, to reassure himself that the other man is safe, but he knows that will lead only to trouble.

“Jim, you’ve broken me,” he whispers, giving in a bit and burying his face into Jim’s hair. “What have you done to me?”

He skims a hand over Jim’s injured side, freezing when the man stirs a bit. He does not wake, so Leonard gently presses the ice pack against the most swollen area and allows his eyes to flutter shut and for him to breathe Jim in. 

\--

The team cannot get through a job without Jim being targeted, the attacks growing more and more violent with each location they visit. They are all sick with concern and fear for Jim’s safety; it’s become clear that there is something about him that has drawn offense from what seems like the entire spirit world. 

It is on the most recent job that Chris pulls Leonard aside and speaks seriously about placing Jim at headquarters and removing him from field work. Leonard swallows thickly, glancing over at the man in question, who is slumped in a posture of defeat as Spock attempts to rub his back soothingly. 

“I-” Leonard begins to answer, tearing his eyes away to focus on the lead investigator. “I don’t want him hurt anymore.”

His voice is incredibly quiet as he finishes speaking and Chris nods. There is something hard to identify written over the man’s face, but Leonard hardly has time to notice it before Chris is up and crossing over to where Jim is sitting. 

Leonard does not move. He doesn’t think Chris expects him to come, and he is proven right as Spock sidles up beside him. 

“Chris thinks Jim shouldn’t come out on the field until we solve this,” he says conversationally. Leonard grunts in agreement. “Jim isn’t happy about that- well, I think he’s a little relieved, but he feels he’s a burden to the team.”

Leonard looks up at Spock sharply and the man laughs mercilessly. 

“You’re pathetic,” Spock informs him, as if Leonard wasn’t already aware. Spock’s demeanor changes abruptly, and he glances quickly over to Chris and Leonard. “I don’t think this will work.”

“Why not?” Leonard asks despite himself. Spock sits, giving up his holier-than-thou attitude for just one moment.

“I think they want something from him,” he says seriously, and Leonard feels cold, cold all over, because he’s right. Of course he’s right. “They aren’t going to quit until they have it.”

“So what do we do?” Leonard isn’t sure whether he spoke the question out loud or if he merely breathed and it was there. Spock doesn’t move for a moment, letting the question sink in, before turning to Leonard again, every trace of ice melted.

“I don’t think there’s anything we can do,” he says softly, and before Leonard can stop himself, he buries his head in his hands and sighs helplessly.

“Leonard,” Spock says, but Leonard doesn’t look up. He’s tired, so tired, and he doesn’t want to hear Spock’s abuse, not now.

“Leonard,” he tugs his arm sharply and gently rests his hand on the back of his neck. “Talk to him.” 

“And tell him what?” Leonard isn’t proud of how his voice cracks, but he is far too miserable to care, really. “Tell him that I am a failure of a man, and no matter how hard I try or how much I care for him, I always run? How exactly will that help anything, Spock?”

“Admitting you were wrong is a step,” he tells him softly. “He loves you, Leonard. And he refuses to try and stop loving you because he says you won’t run for long.”

Leonard looks over at him, and the sight of his sympathetic face is enough to make the sorrow he’d felt break through the dam.

He lets out a choked sob, and Spock sighs before carefully placing an arm around him and not saying another word.

\--

“I thought he was sitting out?” Leonard demands as Chris closes the trunk after loading the equipment. He rubs his face tiredly and meets Leonard’s eyes.

“He was specifically requested, Leonard,” he explains. “He knows the family that owns the hotel and they asked him to come, not the team. He’s bringing us, obviously, but he can’t sit out on this.”

“It couldn’t be postponed until we figure this out?” Leonard is shaking with fury and Chris sends him a displeased look.

“People are getting hurt,” he says. “How can we postpone when we’re the only ones that can help?”

“People are getting hurt,” Leonard repeats, fear taking over for the anger he feels. “So why are we sending Jim in?” 

“Leonard, he won’t be alone.”

“Because that’s always worked out before.”

Chris fixes him with a glare and Leonard swallows his next words before he speaks. His stomach is churning with nausea and worry gnaws at his heart. Logically, he knows that Chris feels the same, the whole team feels the same, but a sense of betrayal surges inside Leonard nonetheless. 

“Leonard,” Chris’s voice is surprisingly soft. “I don’t know what’s going on with you and Jim, that’s your business to figure out. I won’t get involved, but do not make the mistake of thinking that I am sending Jim in for no reason at all. This is not for shits and giggles, this is to figure out what is happening, understand?”

Leonard nods, finding himself momentarily incapable of forming words.

“You won’t leave his side,” Chris continues. “I know it hasn’t helped before, but you’re the only one I trust to take care of him calmly, even in a crisis.”

Leonard nods again, and Chris claps him on the shoulder. 

“It’ll be ok,” Chris tells him, before scooping up his backpack and heading up to the hotel. 

\--

The entire tour of the hotel is a complete nightmare. Leonard feels like he’s crawling out of his skin, and he can see why people are so unwilling to come. He can only imagine how much worse it’ll be in darkness, with investigators trying to antagonize and reveal whatever is inside. 

He barely restrains himself from reaching out and dragging Jim close, but he can’t help the small shift closer when they draw to a stop.

It is a mark of how upset Jim is that he doesn’t call him on it. 

\--

Friends of Jim’s or not, Leonard might actually commit murder once this job is complete. The place is a veritable minefield of activity, and, for once, every last one of them has been affected so far.

Except for Jim, who watches all of them, wide-eyed and afraid.

“I feel dizzy,” Uhura suddenly stops in her tracks, swaying dangerously. Leonard just makes it to her side in time to catch her as she half-faints with the heavy exhaustion that has plagued the team since their arrival, slowing their reactions, thoughts, and awareness. 

This is _dangerous_.

“I’m ok,” Nyota murmurs in Leonard’s arms, stirring. Leonard puts a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from getting up. She tries to push it off, glaring sleepily up at him, but both of them are surprised when Jim helps hold her down.

“Don’t get up,” he says, and Uhura frowns. “You’ll just pass out again. Stay here, ok? Leonard’s got you.”

“We have to move,” she mumbles. “Radio’s broken. Can’t stay here all night.”

“I’m going to get Chris,” Jim says gently, pushing her hair away from her face. “I’ll be back real quick.”

“No!” Nyota protests at the same time Leonard says “Don’t you dare.” 

“Bones,” Jim says warningly, but Leonard overrides him. 

“You are not going off on your own in a location this dangerous, Jim,” he snaps, and Nyota nods vigorously in his arms before stopping with a low groan of nausea. 

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not even fine in other places!” Leonard hisses. “Every time something happens, I get a heart attack, and it’s agonizing waiting to see what will happen to you. I’m not letting you out of my sight, Jim.”

Leonard is glad it is dark for a moment, because the look on his face is probably not one he wants Jim to see at all. As it is, the shock on Jim’s face is almost enough to send him into a panic attack. 

Jim swallows hard before tearing his gaze away from Leonard to look down at Nyota, who has stopped moving.

“Uhura?” he asks immediately, and she stirs briefly.

“”M ok,” she insists. “Just gimmie a second, then we can go. Alright?”

“Alright,” Leonard reassures her, but Jim says nothing.

“Leonard, she needs to get out of here or she won’t feel better,” Jim whispers into his ear, lips brushing Leonard’s skin. “Let me get-”

“No,” Leonard interrupts, voice low and dangerous. “Stay here. I won’t let you leave alone, ok? I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Jim looks at him momentarily, expression blank.

“You should have thought of that before,” he says quietly, then stands and walks quickly out the door.

“Jim, no!” Nyota and Leonard yell after him simultaneously. He doesn’t listen-of course he doesn’t- and Uhura twists desperately in Leonard’s grip.

“Go after him, Leonard, go after him, please,” she begs and Leonard shushes her.

“I can’t leave you here alone,” he tells her, and Nyota hits him weakly.

“Help me up then, but please, let’s go after him, he’s going to get hurt, Leonard, please-”

“Uhura, shh,” he whispers. “Calm down, we’ll find him.”

Leonard picks her up and sets her on her feet slowly. She clutches at Leonard’s jacket to keep herself upright, and Leonard puts his arms tight around her to help her walk steadily. 

This whole investigation is going _spectacularly_ wrong. 

\--

When they find him, it all happens in a bit of a blur. 

It’s Nyota who calls out to him first, and he turns around, shock on his face. Leonard meets his stormy expression steadily, and lifts his chin defiantly before Jim could even make a sound.

The next second, it’s like a raincloud has filled the hallway. Leonard feels damp, wet, feels like he is inhaling water droplets, and he shakes his head hard to try and dislodge the feeling. Uhura is doing the same and Jim-

Jim’s hands have gone to his neck, clutching desperately. Leonard doubts very much that he will ever be able to rid himself of this memory. Jim struggles to inhale, only resulting in small, choked-off sounds as his breathing is further constricted. 

Leonard is struggling to wrap his head around the fact that he is watching the _person he loves_ suffocate when he moves. He sets Uhura on the ground and crosses over to Jim, giving him a slight shove, hoping to startle the spirit.

It works, momentarily, and Jim coughs, but then he chokes on the very breath he drew in. His hands clutch at Leonard’s arms and Leonard can only watch helplessly as fingerprints appear on Jim’s pale skin. 

He sees Nyota stand and take off unsteadily, clutching at the wall as she runs to the room they’d last heard Chris in. Leonard brushes Jim’s hair back and presses his forehead against the other’s.

“Jim, relax, please,” he says slowly, reassuringly. “Don’t panic, alright? Don’t panic.”

“B-Bones,” Jim’s voice is fainter than anything Leonard has ever heard. He shushes him quickly, heart pounding in his own chest.

“It’s ok, Jim,” he murmurs. “I’m here. I’m not leaving, Jim. I’m here.” 

His lips are turning blue.

At that moment, Chris bursts in with the portable light and the hallway is illuminated like it’s midday. 

Jim wheezes and slumps forward in Leonard’s arms, slow, hacking coughs making him tremble as air gradually returns to him. 

Leonard doesn’t know what to do. He carefully puts his arms around Jim, not squeezing, barely touching really. He glances helplessly over Jim’s shoulder at Chris, who’s arm is securely wrapped around the still-pale Nyota, Spock hovering behind her, eyes darting from her to them. 

Jim swallows and Leonard hears him exhale shakily before tensing suddenly and shoving Leonard roughly away. Jim stumbles back, rubbing a hand over his face, and looks wildly around the room before making a beeline for the exit.

The door slams on silence and the team stares after the young blond man as he flees.

\--

Leonard knows this is a bad idea, feels it right to his bones, but he raises his fist and knocks on the door. Jim opens it and Leonard speaks before the other man has the chance to. 

“Let me see.”

“What the fucking hell are you doing here?” Jim tries to close the door in Leonard’s face, but Leonard is well prepared for Jim’s defense mechanisms. He shoves the door open and pushes past Jim into the room like he owns it.

Jim looks absolutely livid. 

“Get out.”

“No,” Leonard says simply. “Show me the marks.” 

“For what?” Jim demands. “For your own pleasure? Fuck you.”

“Jim-”

“No,” Jim interrupts, voice cracking slightly. He’s hoarse, and Leonard can tell by the way he rubs his chest unconsciously that he is still feeling air starved. 

Leonard opens his mouth but Jim charges through like a runaway train.

“No, Bones. No. I am not listening to you. I do not have to listen to you. You think you can just drop me the way you did and not speak to me for six months and everything will be fine? Fuck you. Fuck you hard.”

Jim drags in a shuddering breath. Leonard cannot speak. 

“I waited for you, I thought you just needed space. I know-knew- you were unprepared to _fall in love with me,_ so I waited. But you never came. And then I was just playing a game against myself, pretending everything was ok when it wasn’t. Isn’t. Because you left it a wreck and I didn’t know how to ask you to clean it up a little. You left me a mess to fix on my own because you couldn’t be bothered to see it through like a normal person! You’re-”

Out of words, Jim screams through his clenched teeth in frustration and shoves Leonard hard. Leonard stumbles back, catching himself on the wall and staring at Jim in shock.

For his part, Jim looks slightly shocked himself, but that is quickly chased off by the lines of misery that have been present for these past six months.

“And then,” Jim’s voice is a whisper now. “And then you come back without a word, and you stay with me at night, and you hold me like I wished for. And you leave again, in the morning, thinking I don’t know you’d been there, thinking I wouldn’t wake?”

Jim isn’t looking at Leonard anymore, he’s staring at the ground, eyes squeezed shut. Leonard takes a hesitant step forward, but freezes when Jim begins to speak again. 

“I miss you,” the admission makes Leonard feel lightheaded. “I shouldn’t, but I do. I miss you so much, and now you’re back, and you’re ruining everything.”

His head snaps up to glare into Leonard’s eyes, and Leonard immediately feels like he’s suffocating, as if he’d been the one to be strangled instead of Jim.

“I tried so hard to get over you, and you’re here and you’re hurting me even though I swore I wouldn’t let you,” he says coldly. “So I’ll ask again- why are you here? What the fuck do you want?”

Leonard is in Jim’s space before he quite knows what’s happening. He takes Jim’s flushed cheeks in his hands and kisses Jim, kisses him like he’s coming to life. Jim’s lips part in surprise and Leonard takes advantage, turning the kiss softer, sweeter.

Jim’s whole body shudders, and suddenly, he’s kissing Leonard back with more ferocity than Leonard has ever seen. He bites hard on Leonard’s lip and his fingers dig into his shoulders. Leonard almost loses it on the spot at the small keen that Jim makes when Leonard pushes his fingers through the soft blond hair and holds on. 

Jim tastes like Leonard remembers, and feels even better. Leonard pushes Jim’s shirt up a bit, trailing his fingers along the skin at Jim’s hipbones. 

The man trembles in his arms before pulling away and sucking in a huge breath, coughing a little. Leonard wraps his arms around him, holding him close and rubbing his back a little, encouraging his breathing. 

“That’s it,” Leonard whispers. “You’re ok now, Jim.”

Jim coughs.

“I-” he begins before clearing his throat. “I am. I’m ok.”

“I’m sorry,” Leonard blurts out before he can think better of it. “I’m so sorry, Jim. I was a douche, I was an asshole, I was-mmf!”

Jim cuts him off sharply with a fierce kiss. Leonard backs Jim up until his knees hit the bed and he falls back, dragging Leonard with him.

“Please,” Jim murmurs, begging for everything and nothing all at once.

Leonard obliges and divests Jim of his clothing hurriedly, lips tracing down his bare chest, teeth nipping here and there before leaning up to meet Jim’s lips again.

“I love you,” Leonard whispers between furious kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love-”

“I know,” Jim murmurs back, and his eyes are bright blue. “I know, Bones.”

He’s warm and tight and Leonard can barely move, half-collapsed over the smaller man. Jim arches against him and whines high in his throat when Leonard finally pushes all the way in. 

He’s tense, and Leonard presses a hand to Jim’s chest, a familiar gesture.

_(Everything is ok, Jim.)_

Jim’s hand sneaks up to cover Leonard’s.

_(I know, Leonard. I’m ok.)_

“C’mon, c’mon, Bones,” Jim is close to begging and Leonard realizes he hasn’t moved yet. “Please, don’t stop.”

Jim clutches tightly at Leonard’s arms when Leonard finally begins to move. A tiny keen escapes his throat and he tosses his head back, crying out when Leonard glances against his prostate. 

“More,” he bites out. heels pushing against the mattress. Leonard reaches back behind him and drags Jim’s leg up and over his shoulder, and is rewarded with a filthy groan that makes him feel the need to go to confession.

Leonard sets a brutal pace, drawing tortured little grunts out of Jim with every thrust forward. Jim’s eyes are wide, pupils blown, and he reaches up to drag Leonard down for a kiss that feels like fire.

“I’m-” Jim pants into Leonard’ ear. “I’m-”

“I know,” Leonard chokes, screwing his eyes shut as his movements become more erratic. “Come on, Jim.”

Jim lets out a mixture of a moan and a cry as he comes, clenching and drawing Leonard along with him. 

Leonard’ vision whites out as he collapses against the man beneath him, hands tiredly tangling in the blond hair. He inhales deeply and rolls over, pulling the other man to join him. He lets his eyes close briefly, trailing his fingers along Jim’s ribs.

Jim is sprawled against him, face pressed into Leonard’s shoulder, legs entwined with Leonard’s. His breathing is soft, on the verge of sleep, but Leonard can _hear him breathing_ , and he scrunches his eyes tight against a wave of tears at the memory of Jim suffocating.

“I’m ok,” Jim whispers, and Leonard ducks down to kiss him again. “I’m ok.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me suffering at smalltalktorture.tumblr.com


End file.
